Saturday, 27 July 2013

Loving Love: Part 1


Love, such a small word yet it has the power to move the world forward, the power to make people do the unthinkable, the power to shatter or to make everything matter. There are so many different forms of love, from the tattooed, unchangeable, everlasting love for family, to the enduring, long hours, no sleep, and focused love for your job. Then you get the crazy, deep, random, humorous love of friendship and then the status, ego and argument driven, bonding love of sports or a hobby. But the first part of my two part series, I want to focus on the heart racing, palm sweating, ever changing, intense love of romance, then justifying it with the agape love that is Jesus Christ.

Let me just make something clear before I continue, I have absolutely no experience when it comes to this topic, I’ve never been in love, but I’ve learnt loads of stuff just by watching the people I know embark on life’s only mission, to love and to be loved in return.

Forever Alone:

Many of us are still single, for some it’s the perfect season, almost like summer, they can’t imagine having to give up the outdoorsy feeling of the single life. For others they wait for winter, waiting to feel the warmth of a burning fire. Please, don’t fool yourself into thinking that you will be perfectly fine alone if Mr/Mrs Perfect never comes along, truth is no matter how old you are, you and I both know you will always be looking, waiting and hoping for love. So how can we feel fulfilment of the heart when the thought of being alone forever is only filling our brain with anxiety?

God gave Adam an Eve, he gave Abraham a Sarah, he gave Isaac a Rebecca and the list goes on, if God can do it for them he can do it for us. Dating shows don’t have anything on the creator of love, love will come at the perfect time, when you least expect it, it’s going to be epic and well worth the wait. And if you do end up never falling in love at least you have more time to love others who are in desperate need of it!

Friend Zoned:

I think that title carries more fear than the name Voldamort. From a personal point of view I am the type of girl who gets along with guys very well because of my interests, I go through phases where I am really close to someone and then boooom that dreaded word is dropped ‘Friends’ whether it be me saying it to ensure that it is purely friendship or me using the term ‘best friends’ to protect myself from getting hurt or even using it casually because I already made a preconception that my new ‘best friend’ will never be interested in me so might as well friend zone myself. And then there is the part where he drops the ‘best friend’ bomb first and I’m left thinking wait, what? Are you for real?  I have repeated this line to myself numerous times over the years ‘Always the best friend, never the girlfriend’. Maybe it’s because I’m too nice, too friendly and everyone loves a heart breaker, but then I think to myself, why should I change who I am to get someone to like me?

There are two answers to this, either speak up, or let the feelings fade! Friendship is as beautiful as any relationship; sometimes friendship lasts longer and is less complicated. Truth is your destiny is pre-planned, if God wants you to have that person, he will give him/her to you. Be patient, don’t chase it and don’t force it either.

Second Choice:

All of us want to be first, to feel like the only girl in the room, to be deeply cared for above all else. Sounds like a chick flick doesn’t it? God made me a promise long ago, in Genesis 29-30 The story of the love triangle between Jacob, Rachel and Leah is discussed. You see, Jacob fell in love with Rachel, but Laban, Rachel’s father, said that Jacob must wed Leah too if he wants to be with Rachel. Rachel was much prettier that Leah was but God never short changes anyone; he blessed Leah with the opportunity to have children where Rachel couldn’t. Leah thought that Jacob would love her more because she could offer him more than Rachel’s beauty, but no matter how hard Leah tried it was always Rachel, the first choice. My question to you is, are you willing to fight for the one you love? Or would you rather have someone who will go to battle for you? Find comfort in the fact that although you weren’t his first choice, you are His first choice and He chose you, and fell in love with you before you were even born. He will never leave you nor forsake you! He will bless you with someone who will want to show you off to the world. Don’t ever settle for second best.

There will always be someone better than you, but you have to be confident enough in yourself to believe that you are as deserving of love as the girl who sits opposite you holding hands with her boyfriend who can’t stop smiling at her. Instead of being envious celebrate it, because when you find that one of a kind love, you’ll be able to enjoy it without any guilt when you too show public displays of affection. In my next post I will stretch the topic further, covering the following factors: Don’t settle, love to be loved (trusting love) and not to make one person your everything. I will also talk about what I think God wants from us when it comes to the callous yet exhilarating word which is Love... Keep your eyes peeled, post will follow soon.