As they say the best things in life come in two’s, it takes two to tango, things are twice as nice and everyone loves a two for one deal. So I decided to make this topic a two part series, because inevitable there are two parts to life, firstly pre-love and there after true love.
There will be many loves in your life, you might think that the person you spent 5 years with was and must be the perfect one for you. He ends up breaking your heart and you simply can’t muck up the courage to move forward. I want to encourage you not to be afraid to love again. “God never works backwards, he only moves you forward” Your future will always be better than your past. Yes, great, sometimes round two does work, but then don’t go into the relationship complaining about the same things, it was your choice to go back so now you have to take it as it comes which leads me to the next subheading...
We all love to settle...We take what we can get, but why? Lack of confidence? Loss of hope? Limited choices? Fear of rejection? I feel people tend to settle for someone they think they deserve, they aim low instead of striving high. Some tend to be with someone out of convince and commitment rather than passion and love. You may confuse attention for affection, everyone wants to be wanted, but when you knee high in a real-ationship you tend to realise that the zeal isn’t real and before you know it, you have to break the person’s heart. How do you determine if your feelings are real? Well for me personally I know that I want to see that person again as soon as they leave, hours feel like minutes and smiling becomes as normal as breathing.
God wants the very best for you, I’m not saying that the people you are choosing are not great people as we are all perfect in God’s eyes, but God wants the very best for ‘you’ in particular! He wants you to choose someone who will lift you up instead of tear you down, someone to make you flourish when the rest of the world is out to demolish and most importantly someone who is walking in the same path as you and not running in circles. There is a Mr Perfect, but with patience comes perfection.
Love to be Loved
All too often I have seen people in loveless relationships, to afraid to talk about how they truly feel. They sweep things under the rug until they choke on their own dirt. Love is a two way thing, you can’t complain about things if you not willing to work on yourself first. You go into a relationship to serve, to give and to put someone’s needs above your own. Real love is selfless and kind, and when both people have this factor in mind, then a common denominator is found. Lack of effort and spitefulness are silent killers, as humans we always want to be put first, but when that happens it becomes all about me and less about you, and didn’t you get into that relationship, put everything on the line, just to be close to that person as much as possible? God loved us even when we didn’t love him, he loves us even though we continue to sin, he sacrificed his one and only son to save us and give us hope for better days, to give us an opportunity to be close to him. We need to love with our whole heart not just the parts we want to share otherwise you’ll be the reason for your own broken heart.
Don’t Make Someone Your Everything
As much as I just encouraged you to love with your whole heart I believe that one shouldn’t make someone your whole life. Your heart is only one part of your body, but there are many other vital organs that are needed to make your body function properly. People come and people go, love is lost, new love is found. As much as we like to hope that everything will always work out perfect in the end, sometimes it doesn’t and life throws you a curve ball. It’s your choice whether you are able to focus on the bigger picture or if you still trying to connect the dots to form the picture you have been trying to figure out for most of your life.
I wish people could understand that God isn’t a genie, we can’t just rub a lamp, make some wishes and then send Him to where he came from. We think because genies say you can’t wish for true love you kind of feel selfish when you ask God to bless you with someone perfect. I tend to dance around the subject, with the feeling that God has bigger problems to fix, I sometimes forget that He created love, He wants us to feel wanted, accepted and appreciated. He is our best friend, our wing man, our encouragement, our shoulder to cry on, the greatest listener and definitely offers the best advice.
The greatest love story ever told is the one of our saviour; it’s an epic love, an irresistible love, a love that knows no boundaries, an eternal love, a love that forgives, a love that comforts and protects, a love that offers security, assurance, understanding, peace and hope. A love that is sacrificial, effortless, and wholesome. A love that is unshakeable, unbreakable and undeniable. His love surpasses all, even if the person you seek after is never found; find comfort in the fact that you will never truly be alone.