Thursday, 6 June 2013

Phil-osophical Friendship


Yesterday I had the opportunity to reconnect with a friend that I haven’t see in ages and this got me thinking, thinking about how important friends are. With the busy, fast pace life we all live sometimes friends can fall on the wayside. We were talking about how important it is to be a friend that invests time into each others’ lives. Ps Phil Dooley summed this up into one powerful sentence in his first message about trusting and doing something about it, he said, “Become the friend you want to have!” This is true on so many levels, if you are not going to give genuine interest, love and time to the friends you have then don’t expect them to return the favour!

Okay, okay before I get all deep and Phil-osophical (excuse the pun) I want to tell you about my rollercoaster friendships. I’ve been blessed with some unbelievable friends, friends that I’ve had since first grade. Some closer that others yet equally as important and as the years progress my friends tally has grown as I’m sure most of yours has too. I wrote about friendship briefly in my "Acceptance Like It Or Not " blog post but I’ve decided to dig a little deeper. I use to be really shy but somehow I always managed to make groups of friends that I always feel comfortable with and friends that I can act myself around, sadly I’ve lost contact with some of them, they've turned from everyday friends to every now and again acquaintances but when you see these friends again and have a mini catch up (where you cram years of your life into a 15min conversation) it feels like no time has passed at all. London forced me to make friends on the spot, with the job I had it was vital to have good conversation skills. The friendships I made there are ones I will keep with me forever, they were all so different but each made me wiser in their own unique way. Since London I’ve had this hunger to become friends with absolutely everyone.

But on the other hand isn’t it better to have a handful of genuine friends rather than bundles of friends who simply don’t care whether you have a smile on your face or not? (They shouldn’t even have the right to be called a friend then) You see we like having numbers, more is better in our eyes, we think the more friends we have the less lonely we will feel! Wrong! Isn’t it better to have 1 true friend than 1000 fake facebook friends? Surface friendship is good for the good times, but who’s there for the bad times? Who’s there to encourage you for even better times and to congratulate you on your best times? What about those friends you have who put you down in front of others to make themselves look good? Although you laugh it off it leaves a bruise every time. What about those friends who say, “Hey, how you?” but don’t really take an interest in your reply?  

Well it’s very easy for me to sit here and point fingers but as the Bible says “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7: 3-5. Here is where the reality comes, take a look at how you treat your friends, dig deep into your heart, look into your past and draw out the friends you have neglected to contact, the ones you need to thank again for their support and wisdom during your time of need when no one else offered up time to listen. Reconnect with the friends who moulded you into the person you are today and give loads of hugs to the close friends you have now because you never know what tomorrow holds.

Although God warns us against false friends who only want to see us fail he also encourages us to seek genuine friendship, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17. This verse has governed my thoughts on what friend I ought to be and I hope it makes you think about your friendship with others too.